- The time you spend looking a parking space at the mall is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to spend shopping.
- The other check-out lines will always moves faster than your line; if you do not believe me, change lines and see what happens.
- Beware of the three most frightening words of the season; Some Assembly Required. Be aware that an unassembled toy will take three times as long to assemble as the instructions say; Why, because the person who wrote the original instructions is fluent in 3 languages and English is not one of his languages. Remember also, while there will always be at least one missing part, there will always be a few nuts or bolts or washers left over to drive you to frustration.
- The three most often overlooked words of the season are – Batteries Not Included. Be aware that toys that require batteries seldom ever come with batteries.
- When you return to the store to buy the gift your husband, wife or child showed you the previous day, it is gone and the store will not be receiving any more of the item before groundhog day!
- If you hear a loud crash in the living room, there is a high probability that your Christmas tree is probably lying on its side. (We once had this happen to us three times in one season until I discovered the tree had a crooked trunk and nailed it to the floor).
- If your toilet is ever going to overflow or your kitchen sink become clogged, it will be when everyone (including your mother in law) is at your house celebrating the season.
Merry Christmas!
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